These scores are golf-like; low score wins. Those were the respective prices quoted to cure the Service Engine Soon light on SWMBO’s 98 Saturn.

I have a small but discerning readership. I’ll leave the following as exercises for the reader:

1. Which establishment gets to work on the car this time?
2. Which one gets all our future service business¹?
3. Which one lost a loyal customer of 13 years?

-k-

[tags]restonautomotive, saturn, saturnofsterling[/tags]

I visited Saturn of Sterling’s website the other day, and wrote a comment along with a link to this post.

I promptly received a mail-o-gram from the mailbot, thanking me for contacting them. A bit later, I got the “human” response, which I’ll cite here¹:

Hi Ken Nelson,

I have good news for you. We have received your Internet purchase request.

I will be getting back with you shortly to provide more information.

Matt Young
Internet Sales Manager
Saturn of Sterling
703-xxx-xxxx

After that, I got bupkis. How do I nominate SoS² for a J.D. Power award?

-k-

[tags]saturn, saturnofsterling[/tags]

I’ve been a fan of American cars, specifically, GM cars, for a long time. I’ve had Chevys, Pontiacs, and as I’ve documented on this blog, go out of my way to rent Buicks when our travel plans call for car rentals.

My love for Chevy goes deep; my first job was at a Chevrolet dealership back home. I bought Chevrolets after that job was a fading memory. Chevys age, dealership repairs are expensive, and independent garages don’t seem to know how to fix them.¹.

Our last Chevy was traded off² in 1994. And we bought a Saturn. From these guys. Life was grand. A reliable and sporty car at an affordable price. I took the bus to work back then, so SWMBO drove the great burgundy SL2 most days. I drove to church and back.

Saturn of Sterling had a magnificent service department in those days, too. Some remembrances:

• A windshield wiper on the fritz. Service adviser came to the car, and replaced it. Pit-stop like.
• Battery dead. Tow truck dispatched. Service people replace battery; notice that the car is nearly due for service. Service it. SWMBO at work by 10:30 AM.
• Cutaway Saturn on the showroom floor. Used to demonstrate where the offending part lived, what it did, and what work had to be done to get to same.
• Oil changes, lubes, same price or cheaper than Jiffy Lube.
• Car washed, and delivered to the service aisle for you when the car is ready.

Man, we were hooked. Affordable, dependable cars, serviced by caring folks five miles away. So, when my job situation changed, we bought a 1998 Saturn, which became SWMBO’s, and I drove the ’94 on my short, 3 mile commute. A few years later, it was time to upgrade again, so the ’94 got traded for an ’01 Saturn, which became “mine”.

Since that point, here’s how the Saturn of Sterling service department has behaved:

• When you come to pick up your car, they ask you “Did you see your car out there? Here’s your keys.”
• The cutaway car is gone, along with the demonstrative value of “where your car hurts”.
• Even the simplest repair requires them to “take it in to the garage”. Goodbye, service aisle convenience.
• They don’t routinely check whether turn signals, headlights, and brake lights are functional during routine service.³
• The most mundane oil change turns into an experience wherein they try to sell you every conceivable service item, whether or not is is needed.

However, nothing holds a candle to today’s SoS dumb-assery. We dropped SWMBO’s ’98 off last night, for the Virginia State Safety Inspection, and to diagnose a “check engine light” that has been intermittent for two years.

After several hours with no call about the car, SWMBO called Saturn service, only to talk to an “adviser” known only as Katherine, who advised:

1. The brake pads would pass, but would need attention. Cost $300. Fine. We get it. Pass it.
2. The muffler was leaking. Needed replaced. Cost: $300. OK, not safety, but simple maintenance.

And, then, the idiocy of idiocies:
The “check engine” light diagnosis revealed a bad “valve body”, which needs to be replaced to pass the safety inspection. Cost:$1100.
Kate kindly prefaced all of the above with a call to SWMBO, which started out “Are you sitting down?” She explained all the charges to SWMBO in the ensuing conversation, after which SWMBO and I consulted The Google, and determined that in fact, valve bodies are not part of a safety inspection. Thanks, Katherine, for your misunderstanding lying.

So we’re doing the muffler. And that will be the last damn dime Saturn of Sterling will see from us for any reason.

Matter of fact, SWMBO and I might gaze westward out our front door over over the next few weeks and months, and see these Saturns morph into something extremely Toyota-like.

-k-

saturn, saturnofsterling, toyota[/tags]