Tag Archives: Charmin

RIP, Dick Wilson (Mr. Whipple)

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Beloved TV advertising icon, Dick Wilson, known to a generation as Mr. Whipple, has passed away at age 91.

George Whipple, the character, ran a small grocery where he guarded the Charmin display, admonishing customers,

Please, don’t squeeze the Charmin.

A simple slogan like that was part of popular culture for a good many years. There were over 500 different spots; they aired from 1964-1985. The slogan even spawned a country song called Don’t Squeeze My Sharmon, performed by the likes of Ernest Tubb and Charlie Walker. This was another country song that I doubtless first heard at my grandparents’ farmhouse; my Granddad got tickled every time he heard it. At least I think the ads spawned the song; all I know is I saw the commercial before I heard the music.

Dick Wilson seemed a humble man, content with his lot in life:

“Everybody says, ‘Where did they find you?’ I say I was never lost. I’ve been an actor for 55 years,” Wilson told the San Francisco Examiner in 1985.

Though Wilson said he initially resisted commercial work, he learned to appreciate its nuance.

“It’s the hardest thing to do in the entire acting realm. You’ve got 24 seconds to introduce yourself, introduce the product, say something nice about it and get off gracefully.”

and:

After Wilson retired, he continued to do occasional guest appearances for the brand and act on television. He declared himself not impressed with modern cinema.

“The kind of pictures they’re making today, I’ll stick with toilet paper,” he told The Associated Press in 1985.

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Whipple. I’ll squeeze a roll in your memory.

-k-
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Paging Sheryl Crow

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I vowed I wouldn’t waste a pixel over here, mentioning Sheryl Crow’s toilet paper strategy; the one sheet “per trip” idea, which will save the world in 10 years or less. Yeah, that one.

But this story from my native Kansas leads me to reconsider the whole idea.

The officials of the Hutchinson(KS) Correctional Facility are limiting inmates to one roll of TP at a time. The limit has been a long-standing limit, but not enforced. From the article:

Under the prison policy, inmates are restricted to four rolls of toilet paper each month or on an “as-needed” basis.

There were no details on the meaning of “as-needed”. I’m glad they spelled “as” properly, and that there were no problems with stuck keys, if you get my drift.

The correctional facility houses some 1600 inmates, and by saving a roll a month per inmate, $600 would be saved monthly. Quotiing more liberally than the AP might like:

“There are a lot of things that individually don’t cost much,” said Kansas Department of Corrections spokeswoman Frances Breyne. “But when you multiply that by hundreds, it makes a drastic impact.”

Schneider insists inmates won’t go without toilet paper. Charmin four-packs can be purchased at the prison canteen for $2.70, and anyone who produces an empty roll will receive a new roll of toilet paper.

One side effect of the policy could be that toilet paper will become a new form of currency among inmates.

Hutchinson, you need Sheryl Crow. With her policy, a case or two of TP could supply the prison for a month, and prevent the dread practice of Charmin becoming currency.

-k-
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