Tag Archives: FEMA

Home from the Hills

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The West Virginia trip was a 100% authenticated blast. Our host and hostess are about as laid back as we are; we were shown our room, bathroom, location of such things as coffee, etc, and told to make ourselves at home. And we did.

Last night, we had the traditional beer drinking, grilling, bocce ball playing, fireworks watching experience. SWMBO and I left for the trip back to NoVA around noon or so today, and were one turn from our homestead when work butted in intervened. So I got a half-day vacation, my phone assistance to coworkers counting as an official time at bat and all.

We also broke in our new GPS device, to see how it behaved in semi-familiar territory. The digitized female GPS voice has been named Diana. I didn’t heed her U-turn advice where there was no place nor need to execute such a maneuver, but other than that, she did a stand up job.

-k-

No Fake Balls in Maryland

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The Maryland state legislature continues to distinguish itself with inane legislative proposals. This time, the law in question would ban display of fake male genitalia from the bumper hitches of SUVs, pickups, and cars. Yep, says so right here:

Maryland Del. LeRoy E. Myers Jr. to truckers: If you’ve got ‘em, you don’t need to flaunt ‘em.

As the General Assembly debates global warming and the death penalty, Myers (R-Washington) has something else on his mind: the outsized plastic testicles that truckers dangle from the trailer hitches of their pickups.

Of all the problems facing Maryland, LeRoy wants to clean up displays on personally-owned vehicles he finds offensive:

His bill would prohibit motorists from displaying anything resembling or depicting “anatomically correct” or “less than completely and opaquely covered” human or animal genitals, human buttocks or female breasts. The offense would carry a penalty.

A picture of the Venus deMilo would probably qualify. But LeRoy’s heart is in the right place, and his motives are pure:

“So let’s clean up what our children are seeing on our roads.”

For the children. Yep, that justifies any excess, any trampling of property rights, free speech, and numerous other liberties.

I wouldn’t display such things from my vehicle; I find them tacky. But I’d chuckle if I saw ‘em on the road. To see the plastic stindeens that frosted LeRoy’s presumably real ones, check here.

-k-

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Brooklynite

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SWMBO is off at her hen dinner Christmas celebration with her female coworkers, so I’m scavenging for myself this evening. Even though there are plenty of home-cooked leftovers from which to choose, and several varieties of microwaveable bounty in the freezer, tonight I opted for a Brooklyn style pepperoni pizza from Domino’s.

I have no idea how authentically Brooklyn the pizza is; what I like about it is its thin but sturdy crust. Thicker then thin crust, much thinner than pan style and regular. And like the ad says, the slice can be folded. Mmmmm….

Domino’s doesn’t deliver beer, however. I took care of that situation on the way home. Now to find the remote for the teevee..

-k-

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Taser Roundup

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Finally, something a taser is effective in fighting: eight-foot-long albino Burmese pythons. A 47 year old Uniontown PA man was feeding a rat to the reptile, which belongs to his daughter, when it bit his hand and wrapped itself tightly around his left arm. The snake, according to Uniontown police officer Ray Miller, was eating the man’s hand. And then:

In an effort to free the man without permanently harming the snake, Miller said he shot the animal with his Taser, a gun that sends an electric shock through wired darts. The snake immediately went limp and released its grip.

Maybe the smaller the target, the more effective Tasers are. The man who was bitten is OK; all hands safe. And the snake was spared.

And then, in a non-funny Taser incident that makes one shake one’s head, in Jonesboro (GA I think, the link is to an Atlanta TV station), a sixth grader was Tasered by police following a playground incident. According to the article:

School officials confirm that an 11-year-old, 6th grade male was tasered by a school resource officer. They say the boy was physically assaulting a female 6th grader and refused to listen to verbal commands to stop. As a last resort the officer tasered the boy twice – once to get the students separated and a second time when the boy tried to attack the girl again.

Sixth graders? In my day, a visit to the principal’s office, a stern talking-to, an at-school ass whipping, definitely followed by another when the folks found out, would have put the kibosh on such shenanigans. But then ass whippings are cruel.

Times have changed.

-k-

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Born in a Small Town

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Clayton Cubitt, of Operation Eden fame, has a new post where he discusses to ongoing efforts to restore the Katrina-devastated town of Pearlington MS.

There is a project aptly called One House at a Time, whose charter is to help the people of Pearlington get back on their feet, with affordable housing.

Being a small town, kinda’ in the middle of nowhere, Pearlington doesn’t get the press, either good or bad, of New Orleans, Biloxi, and other larger places. They have very little voice and they are easier to ignore I guess because few people had heard of Pearlington from the git-go.

The last paragraph of the post hit me where I live:

As I write this winter is almost upon us in the Gulf. Did you know that the FEMA trailers people waited so long to get are being taken away in February? Will the citizens of Pearlington be back to living in tents then? Not if One House At A Time can help it, and you can help them. Like I said, Pearlington was never much to look at. It’s no New Orleans. It’s no Biloxi. But it’s a part of America that’s fading fast and deserves to survive. Because if you go far enough back, all our families come from some place like Pearlington.

I come from a small town myself; my parents and grandparents came from even smaller towns. As the year end approaches, SWMBO and I donate to a few mutually-agreed-upon worthwhile causes. This year, I think we’ll add One House at a Time to the list. Because small places like it do deserve to survive. Go read Clayton’s post. Maybe you’ll agree.

-k-

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Pig Tales #1

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From The Green Bay Press-Gazette, a slice of life article about a pig who escaped on his (her, actually) way to the butcher.

This article is funny, almost surreal. It turns out that the pig’s owner is a lawyer named Nila Robinson, from Appleton WI. She was transporting three pigs to the butcher, and upon arrival:

She delivered two pigs to a butcher near Appleton but the female pig that remained on the trailer threw a fit.

And then, unaccountably,

“She stood on her hind legs and made an ear-piercing sound,” said Robinson, who said the animal was distressed.

So, instead of than dragging the critter off the truck and leaving it at the butcher’s, the obvious thing to do is stop by Starbuck’s for a venti, double mocha, triple caramel with soy and raspberry coulis latte; Ms. Robinson did exactly that:

But the pig calmed down so Robinson decided to stop at a Starbucks in Appleton to wash her hands and get a latte.

“I would have gone through the drive-thru but the pig was lying down so I figured it was OK,” she said. “When I got back to the truck, the pig was still there.”

Not being a Starbuck’s fanboy, I didn’t realize they had drive-thru service. The pig had obviously calmed remarkably since the ear-piercing sound emissions.

The tale continues:

So Robinson drove to Maplewood Meats on Milltown Road, just off Highway 29 near Green Bay. She made it there but the pig didn’t.

So she calls local law enforcement, whereupon the big guns were brought out:

The pig finally turned up near the intersection of U.S. 41 and West Mason Street at 6 p.m. and was eventually subdued when police officers unsuccessfully employed Tasers and finally tranquilized the animal with darts. Asked what time she thinks the pig escaped, Robinson would only say, “the pig was at large for some time.”

So, the Tasers didn’t faze her.

All’s well that ends well, and the pig spent the night in the local animal shelter; Ms. Robinson picked her up the next day, and offered these words of comfort:

Robinson didn’t plan to discipline the pig when she planned to pick it up and put it back into a trailer.

“There will be modifcations,” she said. “I might have to sit in the back and play gin rummy with her. The pig humiliated me but I don’t hold it against it,” she said, knowing the pig won’t care anyway. “Pigs lack remorse.”

Wow. Read the whole article, while it’s in front of the pay/registration wall.

-k-

The Press-Gazette is soliciting pictures of the pig from their readership. They’ll post them if they get them. I’ll point to them if they show up.

I’m in touch, so you’ll be in touch.

Hooters and Bubbly

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According to this, Hooters is going to pay FEMA for the $200.00 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne bought with Hurricane Katrina relief money at one of its restaurants.

This is a great example of good corporate citizenship, irrespective of the small amount of this particular incident. It’s not like Hooters hadn’t already done its part. From the article:

Following Katrina, Brooks sent one of his Hooters Air 737s loaded with supplies into the Gulf Coast disaster area. The restaurant chain also donated $225,000 to the Red Cross Katrina relief fund.

I had no idea that such a high dollar potable was available there. I never had occasion to look, believing as I do that the perfect beverage to accompany Hooters wings is a big schooner of ice-cold beer. And another.

-k-

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St. Bernard Parish 3, FEMA 0

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St. Bernard Parish was one the most Katrina-devastated parishes in Louisiana. MSNBC has an article about their efforts to rebound and rebuild.

Henry “Junior” Rodriguez, parish president, is leading the rebuilding effort from the kitchen table in his double-wide trailer. Tired of FEMA doubletalk, bureaucracy, and bumbling, the 12,000 of 67,000 residents who have returned are rebuilding the place themselves.

While other parishes waited for housing help from the Federal Emergency Management Agency, Rodriguez brokered a deal with a private source for 6,500 trailers. Empty lots were transformed into home fields.

Score one for St. Bernard!

Junior has some words regarding FEMA’s “help”, too:

Rodriguez scoffs at the notion of federal assistance.

“They haven’t given us anything,” he says. “They’ve loaned us money. I can get a loan at the bank.”

St. Bernard leads, 2-zip.

The parish schools are getting into the act, as well:

In addition to trailers, residents needed schools. Struggling to reopen them, the school board looked to FEMA.

“They couldn’t possibly do it till March,” says Wayne Warner, principal of St. Bernard Unified Schools, “and that was unacceptable.”

In November the parish opened a trailer campus around the hull of the high school. Seniors to preschoolers — they’re all here.

3-0, St. Bernard.

I love the independence and the energy of these folks. When it comes to a crisis, the only dependable ones are yourself and your community.

-k-

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Heckuva Job, Brownie

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James Slusher of The Chair and Automan fame, links to this story about Michael “Heckuva Job” Brown’s new post-FEMA gig. James says this is the standard by which irony is defined. And I agree with that.

I’d also say this could morph into one of those neat interweb games. You can play at home; fill in the blanks below:

Michael Brown starting a disaster planning firm is like insert some person’s name insert action.

For example, Michael Brown starting a disaster planning firm is like Jack the Ripper opening a modeling agency. Or like Jerry Falwell opening a brothel. Or like the Amish suddenly buying Chevy 4x4s. Or old coots like me blogging.
-k-

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