Tag Archives: Goofy

Well, Hell, it is the Fourth

July 3, 2008 – 9:12 pm

Man found in WI basement covered in BBQ sauce
This guy could be a candidate for Marylander of the year, if he weren’t in Wisconsin. Since this article isn’t from the AP, I’ll liberally quote copy.
A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to [...]

By ken | Comments (1)

Jackass of the Week

June 5, 2008 – 10:24 pm

Woman accused of setting gas price protest fires
Yep, there ya’ go. Torch up the gas station.

A Danville woman faces arson charges after she allegedly set fires at two gas stations and a coffee house, saying she was protesting high gas prices.
The woman, 64, remained Thursday in a Contra Costa jail on $810,000 bail [...]

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Leather Boots Are Still in Style for Manly Footwear

March 25, 2008 – 7:13 pm

Race in Heels Trips Man on Workers Comp
Except, evidently, in Hartford CT.
Prosecutors say a video shows a Connecticut correction officer running a 40-yard-dash in women’s clothing and high heels _ at a time he had claimed he was too injured to work.
All this in a sincere, though misguided, effort to win Hannah Montana tickets. [...]

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As God is my Witness, I Thought they Could Drive

December 19, 2007 – 8:39 pm

Big Rig Overturns; Live Turkeys Dumped
From Bakersfield CA, an incident that brings back WKRP memories.
… a big rig heading westbound on Highway 58 was driving onto the Highway 99 interchange but hit a guardrail and overturned, spilling hundreds of live turkeys onto the road.
Hundreds of turkeys died in the crash while injured turkeys could be [...]

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It Happens Every Day

December 15, 2007 – 12:31 am

Man Accidentally Shoots Self in Buttocks
From the article:
Leatherman told police that he accidentally dropped the gun while hiding it behind his back and shot himself in the derriere.

Leather-ass, indeed.
Reminds me of my job. Except there, it’s no accident. And while there are asses involved, we manage to find many more targets.
-k-

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So, Where’s the Crime?

November 27, 2007 – 8:27 pm

Ga. Man Tries to Deposit Fake $1M Bill
Every so often, a story like the one above surfaces. Every time, the perpetrator winds up arrested. Somehow, in my old-school, baby boomer mind, the phrase “fake million dollar bill” implies that there’s a real one someplace, which of course is false.
If he’d tried to deposit Monopoly [...]

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He should have said “Please”

November 21, 2007 – 7:35 pm

Wis. Man Upset Over Beer Shoots Goat
A man who was upset with his wife for not buying beer took vengeance by shooting one of the family’s two pet goats, prosecutors say.
Please: a six-letter word, that if used in this case, could have prevented unnecessary harm to farm animals.
-k-tbbs tags: Goofy

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Come on, Ice Cream

November 15, 2007 – 8:15 pm

S.D. Man Downs 5.5 Ounces of Hot Sauce
This guy needs it. Or will. Or maybe a Popsicle suppository?-k-tbbs tags: Goofy

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Man Bites Dog, #1

November 15, 2007 – 6:35 am

Peeved Patron Plugs Postal Worker
The article doesn’t say, but maybe all the mail he got that day was addressed to “Occupant” or “Resident”.
-k-tbbs tags: Goofy

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Use the Tools you Have

November 12, 2007 – 9:38 pm

When your only tool is a shotgun, everything is your target.
“And he wasn’t intoxicated.”
More’s the pity.
-k-tbbs tags: Goofy

By ken | Comments (2)